Even in my wildest dreams, I’d never be able to come up with stuff like this… It’s absolute gold.
“I’m heading off to a remote island at the bottom of NZ to help wank rare parrots (no spelling mistakes there), and damn, I’m gonna glow while doing it” – Ellie
“I havent washed my hair or made my bed in 6 days… but my 53 year old face looks fucking fantastic” – Tammy
“I had my doubts about the whole natural thing however, I really have started to notice a softening of these crevices. Hopefully in another three weeks they’ll just look like little lines of prawn shit” – Sally
“I have 5 teenage children & I work full time in a stressful career so I should look like roadkill on a summer’s day. I am absolutely positive the difference in my skin began 8 or 10 weeks ago when I started using these products” – Pip 👇
“My skin feels and looks better in 7 days than it has in 7 years.”
“WTF… I’ll never live without this again.”
“Stopped using Deep Heat and Voltaren since purchasing Grumble Balm.”
“Post-menopause skin… lush, hydrating, makes a big difference.”
“Best mozzie balm I’ve ever tried.”
Reviews by product
Pash & Dash Passionflower Face Food (dry + sensitive + reactive skin hero)
If your skin is:
- tight
- flakey
- irritated
- reactive
- menopausal
- windburnt / weathered
…this is usually the one.
“My face thanks you… I can smile without cracking.”
“My skin feels and looks better in 7 days than it has in 7 years.”
“I’ve been spreading the shit out of it on my face like a buttered crumpet… it feels bloody great.”
“Crazy sensitive skin… rosacea and hormonal acne… huge improvement.”
“Hydrated and glowing… less angry, reactive skin.”
🦟 Scram Bam (for people who are sick of being eaten alive)
If you’re:
- a mozzie magnet
- outdoors a lot
- camping / farming / gardening
- or just existing in Australia
…this is for you.
“This is by far THE BEST mozzie balm I have ever tried.”
“Works a charm — the flies and mosquitos stay away.”
😤 Powerhouse Jelly (aches, grumps, tight necks, old bones)
“Stopped using Deep Heat and Voltaren since purchasing this stuff.”
“Rub it on in bed and I’m not in pain through the night.”
“Is it good for sensitive skin?”
Short answer: often yes.
Long answer: everyone’s skin is different — but the pattern is strong.
“Reactive skin… huge improvement within a week.”
“My skin hates everything… this didn’t irritate it.”
🛒 Ready to shop?
That’s the spirit! Have a browse here