I am here for the matriarchal uprising.
I’m here for the upswell of females saying ‘enough, fuck off’ – it’s tickling my core.
In other news I’ve been drawn to my enormous bay tree lately – the smell from the leaves has become a low key addiction.
Every time I walk past it I end up scrunching a leaf between my fingers and inhaling like some sort of herbal gremlin. The smell is spicy, green, slightly bossy
Bay leaves aren’t soothing or squishy, they’re for getting shit done.
So bay has been going everywhere… hydrosols, cordials, potions and random bunches just because.
Historically bay leaves have been used for protection, transformation & drawing a bloody line. They’re speaking the language of Fire Horse.
The Greeks crowned champions with it. The Romans used it in purification rituals. Nobody ever reached for bay because they wanted to feel delicate.
It’s the herb for saying “Nahh… let’s blow this popsicle stand”
Which feels… very on-brand for the current mood in the world 🤷♀️
The Witchy Uprising
There’s a delicious shift happening now.
We’re taking a break from the polite, well-behaved version of feminine energy we’ve been shoe-horned into for the last few centuries. It’s not ‘girl boss’ bullshit either – we’re realising we’re allowed to take up space and stop managing everyone else’s feelings like it’s a full-time job.
The mood is shifting from agreeable to formidable and it’s about fucking time.
We’re reconnecting with nature and working out boundaries— and if someone crosses the line, it’s on them.
Boundaries… Fuck around & find out
A boundary isn’t about controlling someone else or telling them what they’re allowed to do — it’s deciding what happens on our side of the fence.
Boundaries get a bad rap, like they’re selfish ultimatums but they’re actually pretty constructive bits of magic. They’re also an excellent way of letting other adults experience the natural consequences of their choices instead of constantly rescuing or reassuring them.
In real life, boundaries don’t have to be dramatic – mostly they’re just quiet decisions about what to tolerate. Here’s a few examples from my work in progress play book.
Leaving shitty conversations: I’m done wasting bandwidth on trying to change how someone talks. The other week I just removed myself from the line of fire with none of the usual reactive emotional fanfare. I just got up from the table and walked away. It felt fantastic to leave a warzone quietly and peacefully instead of feeling all that usual frustration of bashing my head against a brick wall.
Rationing the need to explain myself. Once I’ve decided that a clear answer is enough, I’m handbraking the urge to explain myself again and again. If the other person wants a long negotiation, that’s on them and I actually don’t need to do shit to fill that need.
Not being available. Just because someone sends a message or calls – it doesn’t mean I need to drop what I’m doing and respond. Replies can wait til I have the time or inclination – rather than let it interrupt my day and create that stop/starty day where I struggle to get shit done.
Last year I turned my phone onto Do Not Disturb for about 6 months. My voicemail said ‘I’m barely using my phone, but if it’s important send an email because I’m on that regularly’… In six months I got TWO ‘Can you call me?’ emails – which gives you an indication of how important that constant contact thing really is 🤣
None of these are particularly cunty in my opinion, nor do they require controlling anyone else. Everyone is free to do whatever they please.
Back to Bay Leaves
Other than chucking them in a spag bol, here are a few ways to use them.
Tea
Simmer 1–2 bay leaves in a cup of water for about 10 minutes.
It’s warming, aromatic, and surprisingly good for digestion.
Simmer Pots
Simmer pots are an awesome, non synthetic way to scent your space.
Easy too – just chuck a few bay leaves in a small pot of boiling water. Add cinnamon and orange for autumny goodness, rosemary for some extra kick… Make it up, who cares but it beats room sprays or incense.
Burning
In folk traditions people burn bay leaves when they want to mark a shift or release something.
Write the thing you’re done with on the leaf.
Burn it.
Enjoy the smell and the symbolism.
I love bay leaf tea, and make it semi regularly, I actually reminds me of bubblegum. I think I’ll go pick some now and make a pot. Thanks for the good read.
A slow simmer room scent, of course! I often walk into my apartment and feel like I have entered the belly of medieval kitchen, and not in the wafting witchy variety but more the “Prince needs his meat on a bone” variety. I love the smell of chai on the stove, sliced oranges and lemon or the humble bread in the oven… why have I never made the connection! I will be burning my frankincense and simmering my potions from now on… thank you for reminding me!
I think you’re my twin! I read this post and felt like I was sitting fire side with a fucking mirror. When’s the next moon howling happening? We’ve got lots to catchup on