Finding Barbara

“She’s enormous and sounds like she’s smoked a pack of Winnie Reds” read the message I sent my neighbours.

My big girl Barbara went missing last weekend – and it’s been a stressful time. Not just because she was missing, but also because it’s hard to give an accurate description of a sheep, especially when you’re in a sheep farming district.

“She has a quiffy kinda wool puff on her forehead – more like a front mullet than a dome and her tail is longer than it should be” I explained to anyone that could be bothered listening.

And look, I can appreciate the absurdity. I absolutely can. It’s like someone asking if I’d seen their missing ant.

So this afternoon, while I was in full Bo Peep mode on the road (sadly without a bonnet and crook) a car pulled up and asked if I was ok.

Bless them.. I did a quick synopsis on the sheep situation, including an impersonation of her ‘Winnie reds’ baa – which by way of background, is something Barbara has always had.

She came to me after being found suckling from her dead mum – I’m guessing some kind of Darren Lockyer situation unfolded with her vocal cords*

Anyhoo, I got chatting to these guys.

They live down the road and are gay BTW (before we get too excited about breaking the D drought).

We spoke about their property, what they did, my skincare and if they had rosehips…

It was a pretty bizarre roadside chat come to think of it

And just as we were winding up the conversation, I heard the most guttural, earthly noise come from behind me.

There. She. Was…, staring at me from behind someone else’s fence..on someone else’s farm.

“Brrooagghh”.. She repeated.

Cue me standing on the road, spontaneously crying while my new friends got to witness the sounds of a ciggie smoking sheep.

This is the best end to the week I could have imagined

Post Script: I fed her some lucerne and left her for the night. Mainly because the light was fading, I have no idea who owns that farm, where the gates are or if they’ll take kindly to me trespassing.

See the retrieval operation below